I made two mistakes yesterday. Let’s start with the obvious one, I committed Skin Care sin number one and went to bed with all my makeup on 😂 (You thought it was going to be about the hair didn’t you, that’s some priceless bed head) I’m sure my skin will forgive me this once, check out that mascara though, I’m a stomach sleeper and there’s no smeared, smudged black all over my eyes and cheeks! Yes!
Anyway, the real lesson learned from yesterday. I got hit with a really severe headache while out shopping Friday afternoon, I still needed to function for some things we had planned so I made it home and took ibuprofen, applied some peppermint oil and had some coffee. Those three together usually help bring me out of a bad headache (they didn’t really touch it). But because I was frazzled and also super hungry I also started snacking. On, you guessed it… carbs. Then we ordered pizza for dinner 🍕 hey I’m giving myself credit here for going for the thin crust. And then I had birthday cake that night.
On any given day, none of these things alone would have been too horribly detrimental, but all of it together after being very strict with my carbs this week meant I woke up feeling like an absolute mess. I literally felt hung over. Bloated and miserable stomach, groggy and in a REALLY bad mood.
How many more time will I need to “mess up” before I learn permanently that my body just needs to be away from carbs. Like, totally away from them! I guess all life lessons take time for us to learn!
Back on it today tracking my digestible carbs to be sure I’m staying under my target 🎯 and because I believe there’s a positive in every situation I am ending with that. I am proud of myself that I am right back on it the next day rather than crashing and being depressed about my mistake and eating poorly for several days. That’s a huge win!
“You are beautiful without all that makeup.” How many times have you heard someone say this? I understand the intention behind that statement. It’s meant to tell you that you can feel confident without wearing makeup. (Or worse, sometimes it’s a back handed compliment meant to shame you for making the choice to wear makeup) Yes, I can feel confident without makeup. However, I love wearing it. I love the creativity it brings to my day. I love all the beautiful colors. I love how it makes me feel. Somehow we have confused wearing makeup with wanting to hide who we are. A woman who wears makeup is NO less confident then the woman who doesn’t. It’s one way she expresses herself, and I would venture to say, you are actually getting to see more of who she really is when she has her face done.
Makeup is NOT a mask.
Makeup is art.
Makeup is passion.
Makeup is expression.
Well, the number on the scale isn’t dropping a whole heck of a lot lately BUT I’m definitely feeling and looking a little slimmer and I feel amazing. That’s what counts! It’s just a number! I do weigh myself daily. I do this for several reasons, I’d say unless you’re able to look at that number without emotion don’t weigh so frequently. It keeps me focused, it’s a daily reminder that I’m in this for the long haul and exact day is a new commitment. For me I like seeing how I respond to foods and how my weight naturally fluctuates. I can use these along with my food journal to see problems as they come up or foods I might need to stay away from. It’s all learning what your body responds to and needs! There’s no diet book or program out there that has the perfect magic recipe for everyone! For me, I am pullin pieces from many different things I have read or tried throughout the years. And I am definitely sticking with the Low Carb way of life!!!
You could say this is a sign of getting older. Except that isn’t the case with me. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. I love going out. I love being around people I know and love, and usually I love meeting and getting to know new people. I also hate going out, having to make the effort to get dressed up and talk to people and do social things. I am well aware of the paradox. This happens to me on a regular basis. When faced with the opportunity to go out, my brain goes into over drive trying to decide what’s best. Don’t want to miss a good time, but what if I go out and wish I had just stayed home to chill. What if I stay home and wish I had gone out?
Thankfully, (well I guess I should say thankfully because it’s a good thing we agree on this) I am married to someone who also doesn’t care too much about the whole going out thing.
Picture this scenario: You’re married with 2 young children. The grandparents are taking the kids out for the day and keeping them over night. WHAT!? Yes, it’s real. I’ll give you a minute to process that first.
Well of COURSE you are going to go out right? It’s the thing to do, right? Except usually my feelings of “Yes, let’s go out” turn into “actually, I just want to get some take away and stay home and watch a movie on the couch” The silence is just far too appealing to me!
But then I start to feel guilty. Well, we so rarely get this chance. We really SHOULD go out! Well… who says? I mean really, who says? There’s no law that says you must go out and be social. So why do we feel like such losers when we make the choice to stay in? Social media is filled with sarcastic posts about grown up “wild” Friday nights spent in PJs with a netflix movie and a few glasses of wine. There is always some implied guilt or judgement that it’s uncool or loser-ish.
Want to know how I see it? It’s perfectly cool to want to stay home. It doesn’t mean you hate people or don’t want to be part of society. It just means that you are content with yourself and value a nice quiet night in. Learning to be ourselves without feeling apologetic can be really difficult. Don’t make it harder on yourself than it needs to be. Do what you want and don’t criticize yourself based on your perceived expectations. Something most of us need a reminder of just about every day.
Staying “on the wagon” has always been my struggle. Always. I struggle with emotional eating (don’t most of us?) when things get stressful for me it’s hard to not turn to food. I am 10 pounds down in 3 weeks, I must be real with myself and see that as a positive rather than dwelling on the fact that the last few days have been a struggle. Tomorrow is a new day and all of that, right? All I can do it try each day to do better than the last. Despite some wobbles I have still kept completely clear of bread, candy, sweets and pop. That is an accomplishment worth celebrating! Keeping it positive!
Life is definitely a journey! Mine is one characterized by your typical ups and downs. I am woman, a mother of 2, a wife, a business owner, sister, daughter, friend & mentor. I lead with my emotions a little too often, I overthink things, I am loyal and I love to laugh.
I have also had a life long battle with my weight and with depression and anxiety. I look forward to sharing some of my stories, inspirations and aspirations with you!
Check out the Life and Food sections using the menu at the top of the page, or the category menu on right right hand side of the page! (bottom of page if you are on a phone).
On January 27, 2017 I started a journey with food that I whole heatedly believe will not just change my life but save it.
Here’s my history. I have battled obesity my entire adult life and been overweight since I was a child. I have also struggled with depression and anxiety. The depression, at times has been very deep and the anxiety can be completely consuming of any energy. I have lost weight in the past and always found the most success with “low carb” style diet plans. I’ve done “medical” clinical style weight loss programs, online plans, books, joined gyms & fitness centers, been there done there with a lot of it. One thing always remains the same. At some point I “fall off the wagon” and then the binge eating starts again, I start getting hunger cravings and I crash & burn, this usually results in me gaining back all the weight I just lost plus a little. Yep, textbook yo-yo. I would get so depressed that I was a failure, why can’t I just stick with it, what is wrong with me? Why does food control me so much!?
Well … I truly believe it’s not totally my fault. It’s sugar. Continue reading “9 Days and Counting”